Coming back from the meditation retreat is hard. I find myself working to build bridges between conflicting realms of thought. During the retreat I spent a lot of time in the feeling side of thinking. Coming back to my work and society , I've had to heavily dive into my logical/analytical side of thinking. My mind is working to create bridges between those realms of thought. It's hard to create words to something I felt. My logical mind needs something concrete to hold onto while the other half is content with the abstraction of the experience. I strive for balance in everything I do & this past couple days reintegrating back into life has been a war in my head.
However despite this I have made some progress with my meditation today. Getting back from the retreat with all the things I learned I began to get a little egotistical about what I knew and began to see anyone who didn't want to know about it as ignorant. Talking with my friend I was able to bring myself back down to earth and start to look for the wisdom in what people say.
Also another thing that I progressed in today was my vipassana meditation. I realize the power of patience as well as learning to detach from the feeling of posture pain during my meditation. I had struggled with it for a while & didn't know what I was supposed to do with the sensation. I neither was averting it nor was I craving it. I stayed patient in the face of dealing with it & wisdom came at the most unexpected time. I had been seen the pain as a part of me rather than seeing it from a objective point of view. That's something I'm still learning right now . Being able to detach from my own point of view is very difficult to do. Mostly because your not even aware that your in that point of view while inside of it. Each time I make progress I'm able to step back away from myself and see myself from an objective point of view. Each time I do I grow more as a person. I realized self insight somes at its own pace and that's okay. I was trying to rush things so much that it would cause me to regress in my meditation.
Stay Humble, Stay Blessed