I’ve been procrastinating on this for so long . I forget how valuable it is to my growth. It’s funny how you have to leave something in order to remember it’s there. I forget what rapper it is but, there’s this line “you don’t know what you got till its gone” . Getting side tracked is happens a lot to me now. My train of thought likes to wander . Just like Satnam said . It’s fucking crazy that the parts of my subconscious are reflected in the people around me. It’s almost as if that was a sphere of influence. So what was happening was that during the car ride back. I pushed myself to be vulnerable about how I was feeling in the car and it definitely paid off. Being open about how I felt about my day and how I would improve upon it. I enjoy doing the free flow riting its almost as if everything i say gets transferred to the paper and i can learn from my day ni such a deep dive kinda of way. I have been neglecting this side of me for a while. My feelings and my thinking are starting to align together. This job is making me slowly learn how to balance both sides of myself . Both the masculine and the feminine. The key is to gain energy from the field not use it up. I used to see going to the field as a draining experience, but now I’m starting to see that the field can be a very uplifting time rather than a depressing experience . I’ve come to learn to return to who I was before when I started this job. I realize now that the key to this job is not over complicating it. Just keep it super simple.
Another obstacle I became aware of in the field today was how I start imagining a scenario in my head and I’ll follow that vision that I set for myself. Today I saw how powerful that force was when I was working in the field. What happened was that around 7:00 hadn’t made a sale yet. I have been walking all day and in the rain although it was pretty nice. I really enjoyed it to be honest. It felt really refreshing to be able to just be out in the rain. but thats another topic . we’re getting a bit off topic here. The field learning right … So today I started imagining what would happen with my day. & It came true. I visualized the outcome I wanted and I ended up getting it. Weird how that happens. So my strategy is to create a feeling to attach to. NOt an outcome but a feeling . a feeling that will help guide me when I’m in the field. A guidance from the heart . A guidance from that gut feeling I have. I guidance from some intuitive feeling that I cant really explain when I feel like doing this from this state. I dunno its hard to explain .
The feeling of beeing ina flow state where you can feel free and just realese is probably one of the most regenerating thigs that I can do. I can just let my mind free to think abnd feel in a way that it feels connected to something greater than me. I force that is more subtle that I can explain with words. It’s a force that wacthes over oyu and places small and subtle hints in your view. Its up to you though if you choose to listen to it. It’s a feeling that your guided and watched over. And if you get out of the way they’ll guide you to exactly where you want to be . All you have to do is surrender to that feeling and let it wash over you at time. Letting that energy in to nurture yourself , your soul , your mind .
Also side note to reflect on too. My procrastination obstacle. There is a reason i’m running into it so often and its only going to get worse if I don’t address it. So the problem I want to diagnose is the source of my procrastination. The reasons I want to reflect on this is because I feel like its holding me back from a lot of opportunity in my life. I feel like If I let it go I’ll be able to continue my growth . And another part of me is sad to let it go at the same time. It still feels like it’s a part of me yet not at the same time. Like a shell to shed. So I commit to not procrastination for 1 day a week . A full day a week where no task is procrastinated on & no procrastination touch points are created.
Stay Humble , Stay Blessed,